Homsick round #1

I knew this time would come. When all I want to do is dive bomb my fluffy couch that is so comfortable, cover myself up in a million blankets, and drink the tap water. When I want my adorable puppydog to come and cuddle me with his giant face (80lbs/36.4k) while I watch Hulu on my computer. This place isn't home yet, but I know it will be someday soon. I know these things aren't possible right now, but it's because so many things ARE possible with my being here. I'm homesick now, but that's not permanent. I'm here to do what God has created me to do. I'm here to come alongside my Thai team members and encourage people to think about things differently. They are giving back to me the same encouragement I'm able to give to them. It's so mutually beneficial. I'm here to help change lives an bring hope where there isn't any.

The longer I'm here, the more I see that the present place of Pattaya, Thailand is where dreams come to die. Men don't come here because they have hope in their hearts. They come here when they have no hope and are willing to settle for paying for a Thai "girlfriend". They aren't full people. They are, for the most part, broken souls who have been rejected time and time again. The girls come here to work in a bar because there IS NO OTHER option in their mind. No hope. No place to go to be full.

I'm here to help them see that this is not the case. This place can be a place of hope, rebirth, rejuvenation, and joy. We are in the building stage. We are working with God to rebuild this city and paint the walls with hope.

One of the girls in the safe house told me yesterday that she has two children. I had NO idea she had two babies. She told me how she misses them and how they are being raised by her mother. I felt so foolish to be talking about how I miss my dog (my love of my life outside of my Jesus) when she has two BABIES that she misses. I know when I'll get to see my dog again and squish his giant, lovable, face. she doesn't know when she will get to be a family again with her babies. I can't imagine how hard that is.... I don't have any children (or someone to have children with), but if I did, I could only imagine that I would love them that much more than I love my wonderful puppydog. Sure, I'd still love him to pieces, but I imagine the love for your babies is something so special. How much hurt she must have in her heart for not being able to hold them in her arms everyday and speak truth and goodness into their lives when they are feeling down. I hurt for her. I hope someday soon she can be with her babies and they can all be a family again soon. It definitely puts perspective on my homesickness.